TAR chapter 21 - criticism

-Horatio-

“Don’t worry, I’m not trying to be your luna. I’m just a normal guy, who wants to live with his mate,” I explain slowly to yet another disgruntled wolf. I knew not everyone would like that their alpha is mated to a rogue, but still. These people really don’t like me.

Well, that’s not true. Some of them are really nice and welcoming, and Caro has introduced me to all his friends, and it’s been great. But now, my patience is running thin as I listen to someone else tell me how they’ll never accept me as their luna, and I remind them that I’m not their luna.

And to make things worse, Xabien’s mark on me hurts like shit. And EVEN worse than that, is the fact that it’s making me horny. Sighing mentally, I smile politely at the woman in front of me.

“If you don’t like me, that’s fine. Just avoid me, I don’t mind,” I say to her as she tells me how I’m literally trash. Thanks, lady, really nice of you!

Eventually, I escape from everyone, and shift into my wolf, going for a run with Harli. A jolt of electricity zaps through me, and I stumble over a fallen branch. Harli stops, running back to check on me, whilst I let out a small whine.

She helps me onto my feet, and slowly guides me back to the pack. Once we’re both back in our human forms, I find my mum, and rest my head on her shoulder. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She asks kindly, and I let out a little whine, despite not even being in my wolf form anymore.

“My mark hurts, like really bad,” I complain, and she gently takes a look at it. “It looks fine…hang on…you and Xabien…only just mated, right?” She asks, and I nod. My mother sighs, kissing my forehead gently.

“Newly mated wolves shouldn’t be far apart from each other. The greater the distance, the more painful. He’s a few packs over, so that’s probably why it’s so bad. Just try and get some sleep, Rat, and hope that he comes back soon tomorrow.”

I nod, touching my fingers to the mark and wishing that Xabien was here with me, so I can just hug him until I feel better.

“Oh, and one last thing sweetie,” my mother says as I turn to leave. “This is the bond’s way of trying to get you two back together, so you’ll probably both feel…agitated,” she says slowly, and I raise an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?”

She covers her smile, but I can already see it- her awkward and slightly embarrassed but also rather amused smile. “You’ll feel in the mood. Goodnight Rat sweetie! See you tomorrow!” She says in a sing-song voice, pushing me out into the hallway.

I just gape at the door for a moment, before heading up to Xabien’s room and locking myself in, pulling the duvet cover close around me and immersing myself in Xabien’s scent.

Fuck, now I really am horny.

Groaning in exasperation, I get out of bed, pulling open his wardrobe in an effort to a find a shirt of his which has his scent on. Slipping my arms into the sleeves, I pull them up over my hands, before undoing my belt and slipping off my trousers.

I’ve touched myself while thinking about Xabien before, I can’t lie. But, I haven’t done it since we mated, so now I’ll have some great material to review as I jerk off. Perfect.

Sitting back down on the bed, a slightly sweet smell enters my nostrils, and I slip off my boxers to reveal that I am in fact, already secreting that weird liquid. “What the fuck, I thought this only happened when two wolves fuck, not just every time I’m horny!”

Sitting there for a moment, I can’t tell whether I feel more embarrassed about what I’m about to do, or whether I’m so horny that I don’t even care anymore. Deciding it’s the latter, I sit back against the headboard, lifting my knees to my chest and slipping a hand between my legs, and I gently push a finger up against my hole.

“Fuck!” I hiss as I push it in further, my other hand taking a hold of my erection and slowly pumping my length as I picture Xabien, remembering how he touched me, how he stretched my walls.

Biting my lip, I moan as I thrust a second finger in, tipping my head back against the wall and taking a deep breath of my mate’s scent around me. What’s he doing now? Is he also feeling like this? Does he wish he could be with me, the way I wish I was with him?

I shove my fingers in deeper and moan loudly as pleasure courses through my veins, and I continue thrusting my fingers into that spot inside me. A sudden thought occurs to me, and I smile in the pleasure as I picture it being me to do this to Xabien, instead of the other way round.

Would he let me do that? I know he’s the alpha, and I’m naturally the more submissive one in the relationship, but…I have the feeling he wouldn’t say no.

I let my imagination run wild for a moment as I imagine a variety of scenarios, starting with Xabien fucking me deeply and knotting me, and ending with me being the one to top him. I’ll get used to our current arrangement, and then ask him about it, I decide as I finally cum into my hand, and I slowly pull my fingers out of myself, my sweet slick mixing with Xabien’s scent on the shirt.

Oops.

I’d better clean that up, but for now, I’m finally tired and no longer horny, so I let myself just pass out where I am, in my mate’s shirt, with an unpleasant mix of cum and slick on said shirt.

When I wake up the next morning, I throw the shirt in the washing basket before hopping in the shower. The mark still hurts, almost unbearably so at points, but jerking off definitely helped, so I consider it a job well done on my part.